Earth Angel?

Is Will an angel?

You know, a real sent-from-heaven angel? I'm talking about "of divine heritage", not cutie-patootie angel.

It is popular in (and out of) the DS community to hear our kids referred to as angels. Agents of God's, right here amongst all of us down-trodden folk. It's such a nice notion isn't it? When someone says to me that Will is somehow divine I quickly agree, even when I know the person means it in a spiritual sense and I know better, but it's so nice to imagine Will with a permanent coating of angel dust.


When Will was a baby, still in his first year and a half, I would swear that he was seeing angels floating around the ceilings of various rooms in the house. His eyes would be fixed on the blank white spaces, then suddenly glide across the blank void as if following something moving. It would unnerve me sometimes. After a while I would look down at him and ask "Do you have a visitor here? Then say hi." And he would actually raise his hand to the ceiling. Once I asked aloud into the room "Is someone here? Can you make Will laugh?" Will raised his hand and said "ba" (which was his word for bye). I didn't ask aloud again. I even had Mark observe these happenings. You can laugh it off as my over-active imagination, I know I feel better when I think that.

Will is no angel, and as he gets older I have a feeling he is going to prove that without the shadow of a doubt. The thing is, I'm not entirely comfortable with thinking there isn't something divine about Will being here. He has been the greatest teacher I have ever known from his first few days. He has brought an understanding to this house that can only be called a gift. His purpose here is very evident to me and I'm still just learning about him. To me, Will seems other-worldly because he comes devoid of the shallow trappings of this life. There is an absoluteness to his young personality that seems to be rooted in joy. I can't believe that the third 21st chromosone is a chemical prescription for joy, for unconditionality, for innocence. I have heard again and again how people often feel consoled by the presence of someone with DS. What is that? What can explain how someone with DS can increase someone else's seratonin?

I don't want to get caught up in thinking Will is here carrying heavenly blessings, but at the same time, he does give each person he meets the opportunity to be more holy. Every person who meets Will is going to be face to face with a choice. A choice to accept him as a person, or to judge him as a disability. Will gives every person he meets a chance to be a little more good than the moment before they met him. He is providing God with some important information. That sounds somewhat like a divine mission doesn't it? Maybe, when we run into those folks who think Will has an angelic status, a gold star is getting placed in a big important book somewhere.

So, while I won't nod in earnest agreement to the labels of angelic that Will may receive, I do think there is more to Will than a boy with a plain case of having extra challenges. I won't ever gush about how God knew I needed an angel, or that somehow our family was bestowed a special nod from the Heavenly Father, but at the same time I will remain mystified at how a child with "less" brought so much more.

Maybe next time I will wink an acknowledgement at the cliche comments, because maybe people can't help themselves and it comes out as a knee-jerk reaction that explains a little about how they feel around Will. I do know that "feeling". It's not always there, but never far away either.

Obviously there is no answer to these hypothetical questions, but I still can't deny that tiny little notion that is so obviously untrue, yet so seemingly fitting. Maybe I should just luxuriate in those thoughts privately, indulging in the idea that Will is an example of 1+1=3.

And...Happy birthday Nana......we are all thinking about you today!!!!