Back to breastfeeding

It's been two months now and during that time I have found myself perched in a new place that I am normally unaccustomed to.

In front of the TV.

I never watched TV during the day, and now I find myself in a big cushy chair at all hours of the day. (Theo is such an angel to sleep through most nights now!! Woo hoo!!). However, watching TV during the day has been an awakening.
Has TV ever gone downhill in even the last six years! Here are some things that have stood out to me:

1) The new word for decorating your home with it's various accumulated flotsam is "curate". So, when the various events in life and the changing of the seasons have you rearrange your clutter and tchatchkas, you are curating your home. That sounds so high brow doesn't it? Personally, I love to come up with "tablescapes" for the various times of the year. I can't wait for a friend to call and ask what I'm doing so I can tell them that I am busy "curating". That sound so much better than saying "laundry" or "loading the dishwasher". I have to thank Nate Berkus for that bit of modern lingo.

2)Rachel Ray is perky and infinitely cheerful, but she has big man hands. There's nothing wrong with man hands, especially in a kitchen setting. I call man hands "meathooks" sometimes, so it's all good for R.R. to posses such a physical attribute. I have to admit though, I find her hands distracting sometimes. I notice her stylists are aware of this and use large chunky bracelets on her wrists. This becomes even more distracting to me when dangling bits of bracelet sweep through the food or are dunked into the food. The Barefoot Contessa (Ina Garten) has man hands too, but she uses them to her food-preparation advantage and does not try to disguise them. She, wisely, does not talk with her hands like R.R. does.

2)There are a LOT of TV judicial shows. Personally, I love Judge Judy and could watch her dole out the endless commonsense spankings all day. I only know that if I were in a litigious situation myself, I would not want all of mankind to know my business and would be quite satisfied to have it dealt with in a normal closed court of law.

3)Male daytime TV personalities are wearing more and more makeup and some have had obvious "work" done on their mugs, making them look more and more effeminate. Nothing wrong with that I guess, but I hope the male people in my life don't get any ideas because I don't want to have to start competing with them in the who looks prettier department.

4)7 pm is now the line that divides the non-cursing shows with the cursing shows on basic cable stations. The f-bomb can now be part of you family prime time TV viewing.

5)Apart from Dancing With The Stars and American Idol, there is no such thing as a "family show" anymore. No more Happy Days/Little House On The Prairie/Carol Burnett/I Love Lucy type offerings that a family can sit around and watch together. I guess that is why the TV is a polarizing entertainment tool now. Everyone off into separate areas to watch the narrow range of fare that appeals to them.

6)TLC is a modern day circus freak show. Instead of 50 cents to enter a tent and see the fat lady/the world's smallest man/crocodile boy etc. You just pay an extra $12.00 a month on a cable bundle and you get an endless stream of human oddities.

7)There is an absolute absurd amount of programming that cheerleads for the flimsy fare the entertainment industry offers up. So much rah rah Hollywood hype that regurgitates an endless stream of useless factoids of the shows/the stars/the gossip under the guise of "Entertainment Tonight" or "Access Hollywood" or "E! Now". I think the industry is aware that if they don't keep waving a red flag in front of you you are going to wander off to something else. Like your own real, and probably more amazing, life.

8)How many Vampire stories can one generation be entertained by? Are we that shallow now, or are writers that shallow now?

9)How many Jerry Springer shows can there be? How many women are out there who are unsure of their baby's paternity? Can't Maury and Jerry and that other bald guy have found all the errant baby daddies by now? How exciting can it be to watch this scenario played out again and again day after day after day. I have noticed that, in the interest of beating almost exact competing shows and keeping viewers engaged, they've had to find mommies with more babies with even greater numbers of possible daddies. I've also noticed a trend in inter-family hook-ups that cross generational lines. See #6.

10)I have a suspicion that if you were to have the chance to really inspect any TV remodel/home makeover, you'd notice a lot of little errors and construction boo-boos. I think this because when builders have even a luxurious amount of time to complete a job, mishaps still occur almost every time. I would be more amazed if a team of people with a preposterously brief amount of time could pull off perfection. I often wonder if the homeowner has recourse to demand any fix-ups, or if they are left on their own when the production crew packs it in.

I've narrowed my own TV watching to the weather channel, the cooking channel and Coronation Street. I also watch the home remodeling shows on occasion, always looking for the imperfections I know are there.

I bet you didn't think a post labelled "Back to Breastfeeding" was going to be a critique in modern television offerings did you.