Girlfriends

Last night I went out to say goodbye to a group of ladies who are special to me in so many ways. I shouldn't say "group of ladies" because, although we are officially listed somewhere, in some community magazine, as a Down Syndrome support group, we are a bunch of girlfriends. We can laugh at anything together. As one of them stated so eloquently last night, we are down with the syndrome, so in our 'hood anyone who is mom to a kid with T21 is part of a group whose commonality extends beyond the scope of Down syndrome. (for the readers here that are not "down" with urban terminology, "down" with something means your are actually in the know about it. There are a few grandmoms who need to know this so they can be "down with the syndrome too:) )
When I had Will, I naively pictured moms of kids with disabilities as bedraggled martyrs who long ago lost the idea that there was something called fashion and who had permanently cancelled there standing appointment to the hairdresser. That misconception got blown away very quickly when I shoehorned myself into what was a fairly quiet Friday morning coffee date. These ladies were so together! I began to look over my Friday morning outfits more critically than usual. More than the fact that they looked great, they felt great. Quick to laugh and share a story, and eager to hear what I had to say. They might bring along some toys or coupons they felt I might be able to use and they would always gush about Will and what mom doesn't love someone gushing about their little guy.
I couldn't have imagined how quickly these gals would make me realize that they weren't so much moms of a child with DS, but busy multi-faceted ladies who just happened to have a child with DS. I saw that DS defines no one, not a child or their parent. Landing at that realization quickly was such a bonus! When you get to that point of things you understand that life carries on so remarkably usual and going forward from there is easy.
I am so thankful for Ellen and Lisa, who I stalked through an elementary school after seeing their daughters, and seeing their daughters doing regular things with the safety town class right after Will was born is exactly what I needed to see. Paige, who I stalked at a soccer field after seeing her daughter on the field, and the friends that my daughter and her daughter would become (and whose daughter likes to hear anyone sing, except for me). I am thankful also for Leslie, who's beautiful rosebud of a daughter arrived almost a year and a half ago and the coffee moms were so excited to hear the news that we may have a new mom at the table! For Mary, who arrived here from Wisconsin after a move and we thought that a mom with 7 kids was just what we needed on Fridays, so we could pump her for advice. Coincidentally, my daughter was so happy to see her son join their class. Lydia was always there and has excellent taste in kids clothes and could provide me with the best catalogues. Judy was great for advice, for her taste in purses and her ability to knit and have a coffee. And Karen, who didn't always make it but was always fun to have at the table. She always makes me think of the word exuberant.
I could blab on and on about funny little events and stories, they are like little treasures to me.

I don't know how common it is for moms of kids with a little extra to "hang out", but I would suggest that a standing date at a local coffee shop is something easy to do, yet the rewards are immeasurable. And you get to refer to yourselves as DS moms. That gets people wondering.

Hugs to my girlfriends.