Will and I just returned from Target after a mini clothes shop. It was an urgent trip clothes shop. I didn't have these with my first three, but my first three didn't projectile vomit when their waistbands were getting a little too snug. I guess their abdominal walls were sturdy enough to protect the stomach from encroaching snap up waistbands. So, right after school, Will and I went shopping for some slim cut jeans, and maybe a top or two.
Shopping for Will is a little different than it was shopping for his siblings. Will's clothes must meet a certain standard of coolness. At age three, boys can pretty much wear whatever. In most cases, sturdiness is of primary concern as we consider the wear and tear knees take among other things. When I shop for Will, all I think about it how it's going to look. I remember speaking to a mom of a kiddoe with T21 soon after Will was born. She politely, but strongly, requested (demanded) that I dress Will just a cut above regular. The funny thing was, even though Will was just at the sleeper-wardrobe stage of life, I knew exactly what she was saying. I knew because within an hour after Will was born, and I was aware that he had DS, I was thinking about the few people with DS I had seen in my life, and the thing that I remembered about them the most was their clothes. Too tight polyester pants, bad colours, and the worst.....track pants, especially the drawn-up-to-the-armpits trackpants...ugh. Will was only a handful of hours old when I became hyper-sensitive about what his clothes were going to look like. And it wasn't just me. My husband made a remark about getting some new clothes for him and not relying on the twice handed down clothes in the bins in the basement from Will's older brothers. The faded, stretched out, worn out stuff that we might have gone ahead and put on a typical child. Some people, through psychological analysis, might think this is a coping mechanism, a way of denying the reality of having a child with DS. I can understand this thinking, but I do realize that Will is going to look like he has DS, no matter what he wears. The fact of the matter is that I want people to know he is worthy of coolness, of looking good, because he is both of those things. I think back and remember the track pants, the polyester, the bad style not so much as a fashion faux pas, but instead, how they represented parents or caregivers that didn't feel their child was worth the effort, or the dollars or whatever.
So, in effect, the pains I go to to make sure Will is looking rad is sending a message to everyone we meet....that yes, Will has DS and he is worth it.
So now Will has a few new pairs of jeans in size 3, as well a fashion forward European styled sweater. We couldn't resist the Bulldogs football shirt either. We don't think for a minute that having DS precludes you from looking great. Don't you make that mistake either.
Edited to add: The timing of a post at Mommylife was uncanny, so I took the opportunity to add this tidbit. If you really want to ramp up the style factor for your kids and also have the budget for it you have to check out this boutique style site, Polkadot Platypus. They have apparel lines for your little one as well as maternity wear. What makes them so special is that they donate exclusively to DS charities. Regardless of your apparel dollar budget, you MUST check out the faces of the children featured on this fun site!
5 comments:
It's interesting that you should post this because I was just thinking about the same thing. Both dh and I always look for fun, unique clothes for d. I find that it helps people approach her and comment on how nice she looks etc...
You are definitely not alone in this. I think lots of us feel the same way. In part, it's because you like for people to think your kid is cute, and compliment him or her...it's an ego-boost of sorts. But mostly, it's exactly what you said, that you want to shout out to the world that your kid is worth it.
Me too. I sometimes feel guilty for wanting the "name brands" for Gabe. I want him to be stylin' and cute. All the time. I didn't really get it until I read your post today. He is worth it. I remember from an experience in high school where I was made to volunteer at a local school for the developmentally challenged. (This was way back in 1980...yes, I'm old.) Anyway, I remember how some of the children were dressed in an array of mismatched outfits. It shouted out that no one really cared about their feelings, or who they were...When I was pregnant with Gabe, and found out about him having Ds, I knew I'd be stuck on dressing him up to defeat that image I had.
Fortunately, he inherited all my good looks (:P) and it really doesn't matter what he wears...he's my dashing guy!
Oh so cool post! I am exactly the same way... Good to know that I am not alone... Vince being my first though, I am not sure I would have done it any different if he did not have his bonus chromosome, bu now it is definitely something we think of - his tangible coolnbessfactor that is!
You beat me to this post! There are so many sterotypes that we need to abolish. The one that individuals with Down syndrome are fashion disasters is one that is easily corrected with a trip to the mall. Our kids are going to face enough prejudice due to their physical appearance and cognitive disabilities, the least we can do is help them beat the discrimination they may face because of the way they dress. Superficial as it may be, clothing makes an impression on people. If dressing my little guy in the latest fashions, is going to make people accept him and feel more comfortable around him, then I'm going shopping!
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